Well I used to be a farmer, and I made a living fine,
I had a little stretch of land along the CP line
But time went by and though I tried, the money wasn’t there
And the bankers came and took my land and told me “fair is fair”
I looked for every kind of job, the answer always no
“Hire you now?” they’d always laugh, “we just let twenty go!”
The government, they promised me a measly little sum
But I’ve got too much pride to end up just another bum.
Then I thought, who gives a damn if all the jobs are gone?
I’m gonna be a pirate on the River Saskatchewan!
Cause it’s a heave-ho, hi-ho, comin’ down the plains
Stealin’ wheat and barley and all the other grains
It’s a ho-hey, hi-hey farmers bar yer doors
When ya see the jolly roger on Regina’s mighty shores
Well, you’d think the local farmers would know that I’m at large
But just the other day I found an unprotected barge
I snuck up right behind them and they were none the wiser,
I rammed their ship and sank it and I stole their fertilizer!
A bridge outside of Moosejaw spans a mighty river
Farmers cross in so much fear their stomachs are a-quiver
Cause they know that Captain Tractor’s hiding in the bay
I’ll jump the bridge and knock them cold and sail off with their hay!
Well, Mountie Bob he chased me, he was always at my throat
He’d follow on the shoreline cause he didn’t own a boat
But the cutbacks were a-coming and the mountie lost his job
And now he’s sailing with me, and we call him Salty Bob!
A swingin’ sword, a skull and bones and pleasant company
I never pay my income tax and screw the GST
Prince Albert down to Saskatoon, the terror of the seas
If you wanna reach the co-op, boy, you gotta get by me!
Well, the pirate life’s appealing but you just don’t find it here,
I hear in north Alberta there’s a band of buccaneers
They roam the Athabaska from Smith to Fort MacKay
And you’re gonna loose your stetson if you have to pass their way!
Well, winter is a-comin’ and a chill is in the breeze
My pirate days are over once the river starts to freeze
But I’ll be back in springtime but now Ii have to go
I hear there’s lots of plundering down in New Mexico!